Sunshine turns FIVE!

***Every now and then I get a little blogged out. Call it writer's block, call it lazy block, call it blogged out....today I'm calling it emotionally drained.  Several times I have started to update my blog and the thought of it just makes me tired. So much has been going on physically and emotionally that once an experience has past I have to refocus all my energy on getting through the next experience and I have nothing left to revisit the one I just got through, which let's face it, is exactly what journaling is all about. Or at least this "journal".  Lots of great things are happening during this most recent storm for me and in an effort to focus on the positive and being more positive in general, blogging about those little rays of sunshine through the storm clouds might just help me do that. So here's hoping I can find a plug for my "emotional drain" and build a reservoir again. :)***

 

A little over five years ago Hope Elizabeth Maxwell was born. She is my second child, but to be honest I was a little nervous about being mommy to a newborn again because the first time around included some severe post-partum depression and I was worried that might happen again. Fortunately for EVERYONE, it did not. I had the experience that I had hoped I would have with all of my newborns. I was in love. I was in awe. I couldn't stop looking at her. Even when she had woken me up for the third time in the early morning hours, she somehow made me smile. Somehow I could see those precious dimples through my sleep-deprived eyes and still feel amazement at how bright she could make a unlit room.

 

I constantly received compliments on behalf of her beauty. I remember one Sunday a lady touched my shoulder and said, "She is so beautiful I can't stop looking at her. Usually they aren't that pretty when they're first born." What can I say, I make pretty babies. :)

(Eden, Hope and Aubrey at the party)
 

Sometime in the first year we all began singing "You Are My Sunshine" to Hope. She loved it. It was her favorite, and if I remember correctly, it was the first song she memorized. She also has taken many liberties with the song. Once she changed the lyrics to be about her "toot". She hopped around on the bed singing, "I toot, I toot!" She was indeed our little sunshine. Since I've called her my sunshine and she's asked why several times. Once in response to her inquiry I said, "How do you feel when you see the sunshine?" She just smiled at me. "Do you feel happy, and warm and wonderful?" She nodded with her pretty little smile and dimples all aglow. "Well, that is how you make me feel. So I call you 'My Little Sunshine'." She giggled and seemed okay with that answer. Something about that little girl literally makes my heart feel warm and full. Even just thinking about her I can feel it. I think it partly has to do with her name.

(Eden, Ry, Hope and Aubrey)
 

When I was pregnant with Hope, once we found out she was a girl, I knew without a doubt her name should be Hope. I felt her name was Hope because I had been without actual hope for so long in my life until I met her daddy. He sparked hope in me again and that is something pretty significant to happen to a person. Now that Hope is her own little person I can see another side to why her name was and is HOPE. She emits hope. She hands it out freely like a gift to everyone she encounters. It is, no doubt, a gift from Heavenly Father (or Harry Potter as Hope confusedly calls him) that will only grow stronger as she herself grows. I am honored to be her mother.

(Hope, Aubrey and Eden standing on the "horse track")

 

A few fun facts about Hope right now. She still cannot fall asleep on her own. I have to sit in her room with her until she falls asleep. Right now grandma is visiting, so grandma "gets" to do it, because hey, when grandma is around what good is mommy? :) She likes to tell me to think about good dreams and she thinks about them too. This is because one night as she was trying to fall asleep she said she was scared she would have another bad dream. I told her that she can help herself to have good dreams if she just thought about happy things that she would like to dream about while she falls asleep. So now every night we have to think about happy dreams. Hope's favorite color is purple. It has been for a long while, and looks like it will continue to be. She has started drawing the past few months and has become quite talented at it. There have been many days when all she wants to do it draw. She gets better every day and loves to show off her masterpieces.Two Sundays ago, she was drawing in sacrament meeting and she told me she was drawing that picture for Jesus. Hope loves primary! She is no longer afraid and will skip on into the primary room, give her teacher a high five and sit in her chair with that sunshine smile on her face. She has said the prayer in primary twice now. She has made many friends with both the boys and the girls and is surprisingly outgoing for being the child of someone like Ben and I (who are not outgoing). She is an incredibly picky eater. She still doesn't like meat, but will eat Chicken McNuggets the few times we go to McDonald's. I don't know if that really classifies as meat, but you know..... she still likes Mac N' Cheese, but it has to be the right kind and the right brand. Still loves apple juice and will settle for water at night. She has been doing quite well at the dentist and the doctor's office. The past several visits were met with bravery and dimples. No tears. Like I mentioned above, she gets Heavenly Father and Harry Potter mixed up. She has some speech issues that certainly don't help. Now that she's started school I am sure speech therapy will be in her future. Her problem letters are "R", and "L". Grandma thinks it's quite funny to try to get her to say "Lizard Lickin Lemon", which comes out, "Yizzard Yickin Yemen".

(Aubrey, Grandma Verla, Hope, Grandma Nikki and Eden)

She does not like for me to fix her hair. She lets me comb it and will occasionally wear a clip on the side or a headband, but forget about anything else. She has NO interest in getting her ears pierced but will let me paint her nails sometimes. Sometimes she lets me paint them, but wants me to take it off immediately after. She adores her big brother who helped teach her how to swing all by herself. She talks about him often and misses him a lot when he's away. Her relationship with Eden is growing. Still not great, but they have their moments of wonderful, melt-your-heart kind of bliss. She loves school and is excited to go everyday. I can't wait to see how she grows.

(Hope, Eden, Grandma Bosley and Aubrey)

I love this picture of Grandma Bosley!!!