Miss Chevious Eats

I don't even know where to begin with this post, but I know I have to document this child's behavior for a couple of reasons: 1) Because she will get a kick out of it when she's older...and so will her significant other. 2) Because one day she may be blessed with a Miss Chevious of her own and I can refer her to these posts and then laugh...in her face. 3) To remind myself that I DO have patience with my children in those moments when I feel like curling up in a ball like a roly poly. 4) To give myself a good laugh when the moment has past...FAR past. And finally 5) To let other parents out there know that their child is not the only half angel half devil.

This post isn't really even about anything extreme, just dinner time. Sounds like a simple every day happening in which family gathers around the table to discuss their day and enjoy each other's company and some good food, right? HA! There is an old family story that my mom likes to tell about when I was around Eden's age. My siblings and I had assigned seats at the dinner table and mine was next to my oldest brother, Bobby. Bobby is 10 years older than I am so I am sure he remembers this incident well, and I just have to thank him for having patience with his little sister and not screaming or slapping me into the next room like many other children throughout the world would've reacted in this situation. So one night we were enjoying mashed potatoes. My mom makes great mashed potatoes and unlike my little Hopie, I ate what I was served for dinner, well, I guess I should say "ate". Bobby says to my mom, "Mom, do I have to sit next to Lindsey?" Mom looks over at Bobby to see that I am massaging mashed potatoes into his hair, slathering it around like shampoo.

My children haven't ventured to siblings hair yet, but they've mastered the art of food shampooing with their own hair.

First Hope with the instant oatmeal

and now Eden with the spaghetti.

As a side note, spaghetti is not easy to get out of hair.

You can see she is very pleased with herself. I think she believes she is creating art when she does this. For example, a couple of nights ago we had mashed potatoes and broccoli with our chicken and she made a beautiful piece I like to call, "The Lone Tree".

She does eat most of her dinner and she is quite fond of broccoli. It is when she is done eating that the havoc starts wreaking. :) I suppose now my mom is laughing...in MY face.

In other Miss Chevious news (not having the slightest to do with eating) is her new potty routine. And by potty routine I mean the way she messes her pants, promptly sticks her hand in her diaper to grab a handful and either come show it to me or smear whatever is nearby. In some cases far away objects as well, she isn't picky. Last year she started doing this and I thought I was pretty clever about adding a onsie to her daily outfit so that she couldn't reach down the back of her diaper. That worked well until a couple of months ago when she discovered that she could reach up under her leg and get through both her onsie and the leg hole of her diaper! She does this just about every day and I have started follow her around the house when I know she is going or about to go because I am not about to let her out of my sight when I know what is transpiring. Alas, I cannot watch her 24/7. Let me just stop here to tell any judgemental people who are reading this and disagreeing with this fact to "shove it." Going on...because I cannot watch her like a hawk, sometimes poop ends up on the walls and floors...windows, door knobs, crib, toys, water bottles...you get it. Sunday was special because she decided to share her poop with Muffin.

I was not present at the time or I obviously wouldn't have allowed it to happen, but this is how I imagine it in my head. Poor, poor Muffin was asleep in the front room resting peacefully on a computer chair when in walks a defecating Miss Chevious. She stands by the chair watching the cute kitty sleep while she finishes her business. She reaches into her diaper and pulls out a handful of the mess she just created and plops it down onto Muffins fluffy fur. Meanwhile, I am in the kitchen and suddenly realize how quite Miss Chevious is being so I start to hunt for her. Luckily I find her before she has a chance it mash it into his fur, but she still has a handful and Muffin has woken up and is looking around as if he might try to escape. I have a dilemma here. If I take care of Eden first Muffin will likely pounce away and poop will go flying. If I take care of Muffin first, Eden will run around in anticipation of my cleaning her up...and poop will go flying. Hmmm....it's a good thing it was Sunday and daddy was home. Ben contained Eden while I cleaned up Muffin and then I was able to clean up Eden. Flying poop averted. Whew. Now it is time to dust off the old potty chair for Miss Chevious WILL BE POTTY TRAINED!!!

I love this child. I do. I adore her. I could look into her chocolate eyes all day. She is such a wonderful, beautiful, snuggly, loveable little weirdo. But dealing with this much poop is exhausting.