Today at ballet class Hope did not participate fully. Last week she did so good and did almost everything that the teacher asked. I guess that was what I was expecting this time around but it didn't happen. I should have known because it was a fight just to get her into her tights (she insists that they are wet when she sits down.). Still, I was holding onto hope that when she got there her attitude would change. Now I realize that was just a silly thing for me to do because I know my child and her moods.
She did sit in the circle with the other girls and the other girls began to follow the teacher's instructions and example of stretches. Hope just sat there with her fingers in her mouth and big eyes looking around at the other girls...at the floor...at her shoes....at the other girls...back to the floor. This was only her second class so I was trying not to let it bother me that she was acting this way, but soon a couple of the other girls decided that they did not need to participate either. Actually one of them just couldn't focus and her mother rushed over physically making her child copy the dance moves. I had a few thoughts come into my head. One of which was that the mother was doing this in an attempt to show her disapproval of my parenting method with Hope which was just to let her sit and watch the other girls when she didn't feel like participating. Another thought, was wow....that is a little harsh. Another thought was that is actually a good idea...I wish I didn't have this two year old turkey with me today that I needed to hang on to every second so that I could help Hope out. I don't think Hope would've responded well to me physically making her dance though. Soon another little girl sat motionless and of course here her mother came. She whispered some words to the little girl whose facial expression visibly changed to a frown. The little girl disappeared for a few moments in the hall but came back a minute later ready to participate. This time the first thought I had was "Oh my gosh, Hope's attitude is rubbing off on all the little girls and their lack of responsiveness is her fault...which is actually MY fault because obviously I am a horrible parent because my child won't do her butterfly stretches!" Then my previous thought of the mother purposely disciplining her child to show her disapproval of my parenting method resurfaced.
I had to leave the area cause Miss Chevious began to throw fits so I walked into the waiting room which has a big window so the parents and kids can see each other. It seemed like all the waiting parents were staring in judgment in my direction. I don't know that they actually were cause I didn't have the guts to actually look at any of them. Hope surprisingly stayed in the studio but still sat on her little tushy as the other girls bunny hopped across the floor to the other side of the room. Then the teacher asked a few of the mothers to help out and be "swans" so the kids could hop around them. The second mother I mentioned was called to be a "swan" who was standing near Hope. I watched as she leaned down and began to whisper to Hope and I felt my left eyebrow immediately raise in indignation. I watched Hope's reaction...she seemed to just be ignoring the woman who now I am sure meant well and was just trying to help me out by trying to get Hope to participate. But in the moment a confrontation played out in my head in which I told her to parent her own child and I would parent mine. I was frustrated enough today that if the woman had approached me with the wrong attitude I would've said it. I'm glad it didn't happen.
Writing this all out I realize how silly my whole thought process was and what it should've been. Those mothers probably didn't give my actions a thought whereas I was scrutinizing their every movement thinking they were judging me. And maybe they were judging me...but so what? It is my child and my money and they don't know that it is only her second class and they didn't bring turkeys that needed handling either.
I had to leave the area cause Miss Chevious began to throw fits so I walked into the waiting room which has a big window so the parents and kids can see each other. It seemed like all the waiting parents were staring in judgment in my direction. I don't know that they actually were cause I didn't have the guts to actually look at any of them. Hope surprisingly stayed in the studio but still sat on her little tushy as the other girls bunny hopped across the floor to the other side of the room. Then the teacher asked a few of the mothers to help out and be "swans" so the kids could hop around them. The second mother I mentioned was called to be a "swan" who was standing near Hope. I watched as she leaned down and began to whisper to Hope and I felt my left eyebrow immediately raise in indignation. I watched Hope's reaction...she seemed to just be ignoring the woman who now I am sure meant well and was just trying to help me out by trying to get Hope to participate. But in the moment a confrontation played out in my head in which I told her to parent her own child and I would parent mine. I was frustrated enough today that if the woman had approached me with the wrong attitude I would've said it. I'm glad it didn't happen.
Writing this all out I realize how silly my whole thought process was and what it should've been. Those mothers probably didn't give my actions a thought whereas I was scrutinizing their every movement thinking they were judging me. And maybe they were judging me...but so what? It is my child and my money and they don't know that it is only her second class and they didn't bring turkeys that needed handling either.
2 comments:
Your last thought about the whole situation was the right one. Always follow your heart...you know her better than anyone. The mother that whispered to her probably told her she was a pretty ballerina :)
If having three kids has taught me anything this is it, every child is different and every parent is different. I spend so much time worry what my kids are doing that I'm usually never worried about someone else's child. I think that's probably how most people operate. I'm certainly less judgmental now that I'm raising multiple children, but for anyone who has time to pick apart other people's parenting skills and style, there will come a day when they will go "oh crap" I know exactly why they did what they did. Sorry you felt so bad about all of it though. I imagine most of those moms at ballet have had their kid be stubborn, and have walked in your shoes before, I imagine that lady probably was whispering sweet nothings into Hope's ear, just to see if it was the magic trick to get her dancing. If not she'll get her "oh crap" moment, I promise and then she'll become a little less judgemental. Meanwhile keep your chin up, I know for a fact your a fabulous mother!
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