Traditions

This year we starting many new traditions for our little family. They aren't big and glamorous. They aren't expensive or take a lot of time, but hopefully, they will make priceless memories. Okay, that was my cheesy line for this post. Now that that is out of the way...

I love Pinterest. I have found so many inspirational ideas which have fueled my own creativity and I am so excited! Anyway, on Pinterest I saw a cute pin about a finger paint Christmas tree. I decided that each year my kids will do one and it will be neat to see how they've grown each year and if they want they can split them and take them when they've grown.

Hope seems to have gotten more and more difficult with each passing month this year and refused to dirty her hands with the paint. What four year old doesn't want to finger paint? Mine, I guess. So this year, the first year, Noah and Eden's hand prints made the Christmas tree.

Maybe next year ALL the children will participate. :)

Another tradition we started was making gingerbread houses. Uncle Brian, Aunt Autumn, Caleb and Cameron came over to make some too. I am so glad they were able to share this experience.

We used graham crackers instead of actual gingerbread this year and will probably continue to until the kids get a little older. We had lots of little candies and Ben found some Snowman Marshmallow Peeps that were cute accessories. Several times I found Hope eating her decorations instead of applying them to her house, but in the end it all came together.

Look at those beautiful kids. Noah was creative as usual and made house number "19" out of pretzels and he made a cannon out of hard candies for the roof of his house. Little genius. Every time he sets his creativity to something he amazes me.

Speaking of his creativity...another tradition that I passed on to my children from when I was little is that each of the kids drew a sibling's name and got them a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve they got to open the presents from each other. This year Hope drew Eden's name and was only  interested in giving her something that Hope herself would want, so mommy took charge got decided that Hope would give Eden a baby doll, which they both ended up loving! Eden drew Noah's name. Again...she's 21months so....Ben and I picked out little Halo action figures that he's been wanting for a while. Noah drew Hope's name and decided he wanted to make her a super hero cape and mask. He picked out the fabric and designed the eagle symbol on the back and did some of the sewing. I was very proud of him and really excited for him to give it to Hope. She was a little disappointed when she opened it, but I think once they have a chance to play with it and she sees how useful it will be to their play she will adore it!

Christmas post will be coming soon! Happy New Year!

Christmas Yummies!

While making my grocery list this morning I decided that the kids and I needed to make some Christmas treats today. So in true "fly by the seat of my pants" style we got a few ingredients from said shopping trip and got a little messy.

First we melted chocolate chips and cooking oil...

 Hope got to stir...

so did Noah.

Then we dipped.

We didn't get as messy as I thought we would, which is just fine by me. Hope has found a new love for chocolate covered pretzels and now I have something to give to neighbors!

I also made these drawing cases last week that I found on Pinterest. I am going to use this as stocking stuffers for Christmas.

Planning

I am not one for planning. It isn't that I don't like planning or appreciate a well thought-out organized event. I have just never been the type of person to do it myself. This is something that I would prefer to change to some extent. I wouldn't like having every moment planned though. Let's face it, that is just asking for disappointment. Perhaps why I have never bothered with it much in the past because I know that life rarely goes as planned so I just became a "fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal."

Around the Holidays though Ben and I always seem to have the same problem. Where are we spending the holidays and who are we seeing when and so forth. Things are usually decided last minute which only adds to the stress of the holidays. That definitely needs to change. Plans like that are good I've decided.  

Anyway, in addition to the vacancy notice that I gave The Waiting Place a few weeks ago, I have started making plans for the new year. I'd like to find some kind of dance class for Hope, although I am not convinced that she will actually participate. She told me that she just wants to have a dance class in her room. :) I am planning on taking the girls swimming and eventually giving them swim lessons so that by summer time they are more comfortable in the water so that we can be frequent pool goers when it gets hot. I am also planning on taking the girls to story time at the library and I am still looking for fun cheap things to do with them during the week. I think if we stay relatively busy and have things to look forward to that will lessen the difficulty of some of the other changes I am planning on making. I'd like to have some kind of craft to make a couple times a month. Having a creative outlet is really helpful for me. I'd also like to take some guitar lessons...but let's not get ahead of ourselves. These are really just random thoughts I am recording for the sake of journaling and to remind myself of what I am expecting myself to do this coming year.

Because I didn't have much planned the past couple of weeks, a lot of "just hanging out" was done.

Hope Says...

One evening while coloring with dad she hands him her worn down colored pencil and says, "Here. This one ran out of power."

Dad applies the van breaks one night while out on a ride with Hope and she says: "Whoa, you're gonna break the sound barrier with those!" Guess it's time for new brakes?

Hope: How does Santa get up on the roof?
Mom: I told you, he doesn't. He isn't real.
Hope: But how does he get up there?
Dad: Maybe he uses a ladder.
Hope: *laughs* I don't know about that, but I think he uses reindeers.

Hope Says...

Hope: Should we get a reindeer and put him in the backyard?
Mom: No.
Hope: Yes! Yes! It's a GENIUS idea!!!

Hope talking to Eden before family prayer: Heany Fadder....Heany Fadder...
Dad: HeaVENLY FaTHER.
Hope: Hea...ven..ly Fa...ther.
Dad: There ya go.
Hope: I wonder what He looks like.
Dad: I don't know. I can't remember.
Hope: Did you know a jumping snake is a jumping snake?

***Right now Hope is learning about what animals/reptiles etc lay eggs and which birth babies. We started this learning adventure after she told me that one of her horses needed to lay on its eggs.***

***This weekend while out shopping Eden insisted on getting out of the stroller and so Hope hopped in. Dad and Eden had already walked off a little ways and Noah and I were trying to help Hope get in the much too small for her stroller. Once the tray was fastened in place Hope throws her arms forward and says with much charge, "After them!!!" Noah and I had a good laugh.***

Hope drew this picture while she looked at one of her toy Zebras. She gets better and better every day!

The Waiting Place

"You can get so confused that you'll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The waiting place..."

- Dr. Suess

That Dr. Suess, he's a wise one. Turns out I am a frequent tenant of the waiting place. I suppose I've always been suspicious that I was living in "the waiting place" at times but never cared to give it much thought until this last year. This last year I felt as though I might be taking up permanent residency there until I realized that I was indeed one of those people who was waiting. Waiting for...

"...a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance...just waiting."

Before this last year I was waiting for things like Ben to finish school, or my kids to sleep through the night, or losing 30 lbs. I think that most people take up a piece of The Waiting Place land for those types of things at one point or another in their lives.

Not quite a year ago I found some very disturbing evidence on the internet that things might not be as great as I was hoping they were for Noah at his dad's house. I was shocked, heart-broken, disturbed, angry, worried, indignant...imagine it...I felt it. I think I felt every emotion possible. My child was not in the loving environment I thought and trusted he was in, and there wasn't much, if anything, I could do about it. I continued to find evidence throughout the year, with each discovered piece of evidence came the full range of emotions. It was exhausting. Some points were emotionally excruciating; I felt like it was a poisonous rope that I couldn't let go of, because my child was on the other end of it. I hated searching for this evidence. I hated reading those awful things, so many lies were told....about my child, about me, about the rest of my family, but I felt like I had no choice. I had to find out what was happening with my child because the people who were supposed to be looking out for him while he was there were not telling me the truth. In fact, they were doing what they could to make me think that everything was wonderful there.


Obviously, I knew things weren't wonderful. After all, I had been married to that man for three years...I know the kind of person he is and what life is like with him. I know enough about that other one to know that I certainly wouldn't want to be married to someone like her either...or even live in close proximity. Wonderful is something I knew it wasn't, but I was hoping that Noah was at least loved. That isn't too much to ask for, is it?

***I apologize for not just coming out and saying what it is that I found, but to protect Noah I feel that I should be as vague as possible. To my current knowledge, he was not being physically harmed, which I am so unbelievably grateful for. However, the circumstances, I feel, are very serious and could cause emotional damage for Noah now and in the future. Unfortunately, emotional damage, or the possibility of it, is something that is almost impossible to show the courts or get them to do anything about it. This last point is where much of my time and energy were spent.***

During the first month or so I fought with myself over how to handle this situation. I knew I needed to be very careful about what I did, as Noah's father and step mother are not very fond of me...to say the least. :) I knew that much of the outcome of the situation would be a reflection on how I approached it in the first place. Plus, the evidence could have possibly destroyed their family, did I want to be "responsible" for that? Or responsible for bringing the evidence to all involved parties' knowledge, rather, as the evidence I found was on a public chat board, with no anonymity in this person's screen name or profile picture. Just to clarify, I take NO responsibility for the ignorance of doing such a thing in the first place or the blatant craziness that was spewed across the web.
 A couple of days later I decided to just ask Noah's father to consider changing custody so that Noah was with me more and I would have no problem allowing them time together when he didn't have to work. I made no mention of what I had found. I was hoping that by some miracle he go along with it but knew in my heart he wouldn't agree. I was right. He wouldn't even discuss custody with me, leaving me no choice but to retain an attorney. I absolutely refused, could not, no way, EVER, know what I know and do nothing about it.

Once I had affirmation that Noah's father was going to continue to be a brick wall it was easy to make a decision. Then I had to wait...wait for money to retain an attorney. Every Sunday evening that I had to send Noah back to his dad's was heart breaking because I knew what was waiting for him. Of course I never mentioned what I had found to Noah. I didn't want to risk him being hurt any more than he was being hurt already. And don't get me wrong, if you ask Noah will tell you that he is happy at his dad's house and on the outside it appears that everything is okay. Noah has lots of friends and is doing exceptionally well in school, but mother's intuition tells me that under the surface he is struggling. This intuition is the reason I "stumbled upon" this evidence in the first place. I just knew that something was off. Anyway, once I had retained the attorney, I did a lot more waiting. I mean A LOT of waiting...on my attorney. I retained my attorney at the end of April and papers weren't even sent to Noah's father until July. My attorney seemed to have quite a bit going on in his personal life at the time too and ended up switching firms, starting his own firm and moving his office a couple of times. Several times I felt like I had paid a couple thousand dollars to have someone besides Noah's father to fight. Returning calls, and emails were not something he was great at. I wanted to retain a different attorney, but didn't have any more money and I knew that court, or mediation or what ever was in the future was going to be very expensive, so more waiting....

I began to get more and more angry with every passing day. So many times I wanted to drive over there and kick ass. I started to get angry at myself and at my Heavenly Father. How could he allow this to happen to my child and render me so helpless? After all, it was quite a leap of faith and obedience that I took in allowing Noah to be with his father "full-time" anyway. He told me that was what He wanted for Noah at one point so I went along with it and now everything seemed so dark for Noah. It had been dark for long before I was aware of it, which was another reason I was so angry.

Somewhere in all the anger and waiting I realized what was happening to me in the waiting place. Before I knew it the year was half over and I couldn't even remember most of it. I had blinders on to just about everything but this situation and as a result missed out on so many wonderful things. I realized that I had been ignoring the one person who could do anything about this, my Heavenly Father. I realized that for myself, I could never be the mother that any of my children need if my back was turned to my Heavenly Father. After all, He is the only one who can see where we are going and what we'll need to survive along the way. How was I supposed to help my children through their journey if I wasn't open to His counsel or the inspiration that He promised me as their mother when He sent them to me in the first place? It would be impossible. I felt ashamed and even more angry at myself for not realizing this sooner. I am still working on mending my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Of course, I know that the only side of that relationship that needs fixing is mine. Opening up my heart and soul...and my "ears" to His voice seems like such an easy thing to do. Perhaps for some people it is, but I struggle. I know this struggle is one of the many lessons that I am on this earth to learn.
I also realized no one loves my children like I do. That is why they were sent to me. Such a simple thing, but something that I did not always know. No one will sacrifice what I am willing to sacrifice (and have already sacrificed in some situations) for each of them. No one else sees them the way I do. Which is not perfectly, mind you. They indeed frustrate and try my patience, but I am human. I know that my Heavenly Father loves them perfectly, and the love that I have for them is the next closest thing. As their mother this was a gift that was given to me and my children. In learning this my love and appreciation grew even stronger than before and the blinders that I was wearing began to recede so that I could see my children even clearer. Hope's dimples and her love for me and her truly beautiful spirit. The woman she will become...this woman needs my help. She needs my example. Even as I type this out I am learning. The woman my little Hopie will be needs me to take her hand and teach her how to make herself....ALLOW herself to be happy. To be the daughter of a King that she is. She needs me to teach her how to see and reach her potential, which is endless.
Noah. Noah needs his mother's example of forgiveness. During this last year I've wondered so often how can his father be forgiven for this? How am I ever going to reach that point? The atonement. Something like this I am incapable of in this life, but with the atonement, it is possible. Heavenly Father promises us that if we do all we can and ask for His help having faith that we will receive...than He will make up the rest. This will be a long journey for me, for there is much I can do, some of which is allowing "time to heal". This journey, or beginning it, which I haven't done yet, is something Noah needs me to do. I will do it for him and for myself. Noah needed me to spend this past year in The Waiting Place, just as I did. Noah needed me to fight for him, and I will continue to do so. Noah needs my encouragement and example of the kind of mother that he wants for his future children. I have much work to do to become that woman. Noah needs the safety and peace of my home and heart in his life. The man Noah will be will need to learn how to forgive himself for his mistakes from my example. That man will learn to put his children before himself and his desires. Noah needs my example and love to teach him that he is deserving and worthy of his righteous desires. He needs me to teach him how to be worthy to receive them.
Eden needs to know her Heavenly Father. She needs to know she is here for a specific reason and that her purpose is divine. She needs to know how to talk to her Heavenly Father and more importantly, how to listen to Him. She needs my example of spiritual and emotional strength and endurance. Something I didn't know I had or was capable of until writing this and reflecting on this past year. Eden will need to know that she is enough. She will also need to know how to allow herself to be happy and have self-respect.


This is the second time in my life that I have had this experience. I sit down to write something...and instead the spirit speaks to me through my own hand. When I began this post, I intended to write about the struggles of this past year and what I learned from them. Turns out that I have learned about three times as much in the last hour than I did the entire year. I am so grateful that I was writing it all down as I was learning it, because I know that I will need to come back to it often to remember.
For a while now I've known that this coming year is going to be significantly different than this year, and from any other year. I am dedicating this coming year to myself. That my sound selfish, but if you have been reading this...I have a lot of self-improvement to do. Everything that "I" wrote that my children need from me...I do not have most of those qualities right now. At least not in full. The first step for myself is to realize that I am not being selfish by dedicating this coming year to becoming a better person, for I feel my children are the ones will benefit the most.
I'm giving my notice to The Waiting Place...I'll be vacating 01/01/2012.

"No! That's not for you! Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying. You'll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping once more you'll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky."

To finish up the drama of custody, mediation was last Tuesday. We were there six hours. Custody is staying the same, but Noah will be spending much more time with me and therapy is required for Noah and "her". Hopefully this will help improve that relationship. I was very frustrated after mediation because I felt like I had done all I could and still didn't feel like it was enough. After this post, I realize there is much more I can do and will do.

Thanks...and Stuff

Ben and I decided that this would be a good year to start our own Thanksgiving traditions. (With the exception of Noah being at his dad's. We don't want to make that a tradition.) So we spent the day cooking and decorating for Christmas. Ben actually ended up cooking the entire meal, minus the broccoli casserole. This was not my fault however. I fully expected and was prepared to make Thanksgiving dinner. I was even kind of looking forward to it. Ben had other plans...last minute plans.

When we were discussing what/how/where we should spend Thanksgiving, Ben said that he didn't care too much for Thanksgiving and didn't really have any attachments to particular foods for this specific holiday. I got the impression that if it were up to him we would spend it like we did ever other day. I, on the other hand, have many attachments to particular Thanksgiving dishes and wouldn't feel like it was Thanksgiving without them. Mainly turkey and broccoli casserole. I told Ben that we didn't have to make a big deal out of the stuffing, we could just do stove top, and he said, "We'll if we're going to make it, I want to make something fancy." Or something to that affect. Classic Ben. If you are going to do it, do it right the first time and go ALL OUT! So before I knew what was happening he had found recipes for stuffing, green beans, turkey, and bread pudding. So much for spending the day like any other day. :) Poor Ben spent so much time preparing food. I did offer to help many many times, and did when I was allowed. When we sat down to dinner Ben was very disappointed with everything. The stuffing, which I thought was yummy, he said tasted just like stove top. He was very concerned that the turkey was not completely cooked because our thermometer was having problems and he lost his appetite while carving it. I don't think he even finished his plate of food. :( I thought everything was great though.

Here is a picture of Eden's Thanksgiving dinner.



And Hope's.

Oh dear. Yes. That is a cucumber. Which she did not eat. She only chewed it up and spit it in the garbage. I did make a plate for her, but she refused it as she does every night. She was very curious about the turkey all day long and kept asking to see it as it was brining and then cooking. I think she did eat a couple of tiny pieces of it, which I was very surprised at.

Eden only took a few nibbles too. This is uncharacteristic of her. She is usually a good eater, well, compared to her sister. But she had the stomach flu all week so I'm sure her appetite was not as usual.

Here are some pictures of decorating.

Hope helped fluff out the branches and kept sticking small stuffed animals in the tree to decorate it. No, I didn't make Ben decorate AND cook. He got down the tree and put up the base layers and I did some too. Let me just explain something about Ben, because I feel like his perfectness is making me look bad. If something needs to be done, Ben wants to do it himself. Part (if not most) of this is because of what I mentioned about him before. "If you are going to do something, do it right the first time and go ALL OUT."  Perhaps he feels that he is the only one that can do whatever it is right and would rather do it himself to avoid mishaps and having to clean up someone else's mistakes. He will not admit this, but I think it's true. At least that is what I tell myself to make myself feel better when my husband is doing all the work and I am standing around incessantly asking, "What can I do?" Perhaps he IS the only one that could do whatever it is right and the best. He has never disappointed before and I can't imagine that he will ever start.

I am sure that all sounds like I am irritated with this aspect of my husband's personality. That is not the case. I love that he has the attitude of "do something right the first time." Too many people do things half-heartedly and end up with less than ideal results or just big ol' messes. If I am being honest here, I am one of those people. I truly admire this quality of Ben's and want to adopt that quality in my way of thinking too. Although, I do get a little frustrated and offended sometimes when Ben won't let me help with things. I know that another part of the reason he does so much is because of his love for me and his desire to please me. He is certainly a gentleman in the fact that he wants to save me the trouble of doing something so he will do it himself. I will never understand how someone like him could love someone like me the way he does, but I am certainly grateful for the wonderful blessing of having such a man in my life.

Oh...we were talking about decorating.

Middle picture: Eden was playing peek-a-boo by putting a stocking on her head and lifting it up to say "Boo!" She spent most of the decorating time watching Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas, but every once in a while she would come in and oh and ah over the tree and ornaments.

So first just us Thanksgiving didn't go quite as planned, but luckily we have a lifetime of Thanksgivings to figure it out.

Hope Says...

Mom: Did you eat the frosting off that cookie?
Hope: Sure I did. I tried just looking at it. But I wanted it.

*Hope lies on her tummy rests her chin in her hands and sighs.*
Dad: What is that sigh for?
Hope: Nothing. I'm just thinking about grandma. I miss her.

Dad: Are you excited for Thanksgiving?
Hope: You're welcome.
Dad: No, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. We are going to have a big turkey dinner.
Hope: Who will be joining us?
Dad: No one. It's just going to be us.
Hope: Oh. There's going to be a lot of food.

What a shame it is to have such brilliantly witty children and not write down every word that comes out of their mouths. So much has been said that I'm sure I have forgotten, that I swore in the moment I would remember forever. From now on I will do my best to document those beautiful words on this blog to keep for my children and to share with you.

Homemade Playdough

When I was in the second or third grade I had a science project due at school. Probably my first one ever and if I remember correctly, I waited until the night before it was due to even start. (It is amazing how parts of your personality like procrastination start at such a young age and stubbornly stick with you until you realize that the only way it will get unstuck is if YOU unstick it.) Anyway, the project was that I had to create one of those little boxes that you look into and the environment was colored all over the sides of the box and the subject was somewhere in there. I spent a few minutes trying to google what this was called, but no luck. It is driving me insane now. I'm sure Ben will know (he knows everything) when he gets home. I kind of got off track there...DINOSAURS. We had to mold our favorite dinosaur out of playdoh or clay and create the environment in which it lived in this little box. Well, because I waited until the last minute I had no clay or playdoh. Mommy dearest saved the day. She said she could make some homemade playdoh and that it would work just fine. I don't remember if I expressed my disappointment or not, but I was thinking, "Homemade playdoh? This is going to suck." She went off into the kitchen and a short while later I had a lump of play dough! I was pleasantly surprised because A) it didn't smell nearly as horrific as store bought playdoh B) it was a shade of blue, which was my favorite color and finally C) it had an awesome sandy texture which I have always loved. Needless to say I finished my project and mom gave me a memory that I have recalled on many many accounts thus far in my life. Every time I have thought about playing playdoh with my kids, or I am squishing that sick smelling stuff through my fingers I think about that night and how mom had made playdoh that was so much better than any store bought stuff.

Today, probably close to 25 years later I decided to give it a try myself. I found a recipe online and to my surprise already had all the ingredients on hand. My mom suggested that I let the kids help make it and I did just that. Well, Hope anyway. Noah is with his dad, and here is what Eden was doing...

...eating a cookie.

Hope was snacking too, on a pringle. In the middle picture you can see her putting salt in the pot with one hand and holding her chip in the other. :) That's my girl. I asked her what color she would like the play dough to be, although I already knew what she would say. Purple! It is her favorite color, and luckily we had some purple food coloring, so purple play dough it would be. I gave them some cookie cutters and Hope was very proud of herself for making the shapes, check out the bottom right picture.

Mom- be sure to click on the collage to make it bigger, Hope is making some pretty priceless expressions you will want a close up of! In the top right picture she was really get into it and stood up on her chair to find the most efficient way to smoosh her playdough.

Eden did as expected. She was excited but didn't know what to do with it. I tried showing her a couple of things and finally she was content with tearing it into pieces and throwing it on the floor after unsuccessfully trying to slather it in her hair.

Eden played about 10 minutes total and Hope about 15. Short-lived, but at least it stores in the fridge for a while. Or so I'm told.

***DIORAMA!!! Ben told me. :)***

An Amateur's Crayon Roll

First item of business is to give credit to the blog that I used to accomplish this project.

Thank you Skip To My Lou! If you want to make a crayon roll I would highly reccommend using that site instead of mine, but just for fun...read on! :)
Secondly, I have to tell you that this is my second crayon roll. I made one a few months ago that is too embarrassing to post a pic of. Straight lines are not easy to sew for EVERYONE okay? I want to make these cute little crayon rolls/colored pencil rolls for stocking stuffers this year, so yesterday I made another for practice. Every time I make one I learn something different to do next time. That is what practice is all about right?

You lucky duck. This time I took pictures of most of my steps so that I could document this sewing project on this here blog. I figure if I am going to learn how to do something why not take family and friends along on the ride so they will have further proof that I am not the perfect person they imagine me to be. *hahaha* In any case it will be fun to see my progress (assuming I make some) with sewing.

Here goes...

Step one: Pick out fabric. Simple enough right? I needed two pieces that were 5 x 16 1/2 inches, and one corresponding pattern/color that was 6 x 16 1/2. The website I used said to use 5 x16 1/2 fusible interfacing, but I didn't have any on hand, so I just used an extra piece of fabric cut to those dimensions. I also needed 30 inches of ribbon and crayons for the finished product.

**A tidbit I learned: Choose a pattern that is better at keeping track of your sewing lines (like stripes) for the 6 x 16 1/2 piece, unless you want to spend a ridiculous amount of time marking lines.***

Here are my three pieces of 5 x 16 1/2.

Step Two: Fold in half and press the 6 x 16 1/2 fabric. This will be the pocket for the crayons. Place it on the right side of the piece of 5 x 16 1/2 fabric that will be the inside of your roll. The edge pockets will be 1 1/4 inches. All other pockets will be one inch. There will be a total of 16 pockets. Adding 1/4 inch sew the first pocket and proceed with the other pockets measuring out an inch for each. Leave an additional1/4 inch for the last pocket.  At this point the bottom of the pocket is still raw.

Step Three: If using fusible interfacing press it to the wrong side of the piece of 5 x 16 1/2 fabric that will be the outside of the roll. If using felt or other material pin it to the wrong side of the fabric.

***A tid-bit I learned: This part is very tedious but if you are an amateur like me you will want to take the time to measure and mark each pocket line, making sure that they are an inch apart (with the exception of the end pockets which will be 1 1/4 inches wide). If available use a water soluble pencil OR mark it on the wrong side of the fabric so that your marks won't show on the final product. Also, back stitch at the beginning and end of each line you sew. That may be obvious to seasoned seamstresses, but this post is titled "amateur" for a reason.***

The outside of the roll is on the left and the inside with the pocket on the right.

Step Four: Fold the ribbon in half and pin the ends to the right side of either piece of fabric. Place the right side of the remaining piece of fabric (the piece with the pocket) on top of the ribbon and the right side of the piece of fabric it is pinned to. Now you will be looking at the wrong side of the fabric. Pin it.

***A tid-bit I learned: Make sure that the majority of the ribbon is hanging out on the inside of the fabric. Not on the outside of the fabric. Duh.***

Step Five: Sew 1/4 inch seam along all the edges, but leave about 3 1/2 inches on one of the ends so that you can turn the roll right side out. Remember to back stitch at the beginning and end of each line. Trim the edges.

***A tid-bit I learned: This is a very important step. You may want to place a reminder pin so you will give yourself enough room for turning. Also, if you think anything less than 3 inches is enough room for turning you would be mistaken....or very talented if you pull it off.***

Sewn and trimmed.

Step Six: Using a chopstick or wooden spoon handle, or anything else that would work, :) Turn the fabric right side out.

Step Seven: The website I used says to blanket stitch the opening that you left for turning. I don't know what this means, so being an amateur, I simply sewed it shut. Why not? If you have cool options on your sewing machine you could do a cool stitch to make it look like part of the design. Trim the edges that you just finished. And press the crayon roll.

 

Step Eight:  Fill with crayons!

 



Then roll and tie the ribbon.

 

 

TA-DA!!!

 

If you were actually able to accomplish anything by using my instructions I must congratulate you because as I reread this post I realized that giving directions IS NOT one of my strong points. And there you have more proof of my imperfection. Sillies.

S.U.G.A.R.

Sugar is no stranger to my children. It's not something I am proud of, but if I am being honest, it is a part of their daily diet. Right now I am sure that you are imagining me shoveling spoonfuls of sugar into my children's mouths cackling like the witch in Hansel & Gretel. You would be wrong. You would be right however, if you picture me shoveling "smarties" into my own mouth as I type out this post. :) In all seriousness, what I mean is that my girls would rather have apple juice than water, and Hope would rather have a cookie than what is for dinner. Noah does pretty well, but he is older so it is easier to reason with him and explain to him that what he is about to eat will inevitably cause him tummy troubles.

Usually Hope can hold her sugar pretty well. I am sure it is because they are good friends. Yesterday was different. After trick-or-treating at dad's work she experienced her first MAJOR sugar crash and sprawled out on the couch watching t.v. until it was time to go out for yet MORE candy. Poor thing, she had the low, but not really the high. Usually my kids don't bounce off the walls from their sugar intake.

Last night Eden did though. Ben took her home early from trick-or-treating so they could hand candy out to the kids and be warm in the house. When Hope and I finally made our way home Eden was pretty hyper. Chocolate smeared on her face and her hands sticky with sugary goodness; hyper was a new reaction for Eden. Needless to say, she didn't go to be until almost two hours after her usual bed time.

Hope was SO excited for trick-or-treating! She ran from house to house and Ben and I had to call to her to slow down and wait for us. It is too bad that Noah wasn't here, I am sure he would've appreciated her enthusiasm. Thank goodness it was somewhat warm outside too. It was actually kind of cold, but warmer than usual for a Utah Halloween night. Because of this Hope and I got to go to more houses than in years past and she kept telling me that she wanted to fill her bag all the way to the top with candy. She would knock on the door, hold her bag open in anticipation of the candy soon to be dropped in and shout "Trick-or-Treat!" when the people came to the door.

She was an excellent trick-or-treator and very proud of her soft kitty tail, which was a black feather boa I tied around her waist.

This picture was taken on our way to daddy's work for trick-or-treating.

Eden caught on very quickly about taking candy and putting it in her bag. She wasn't scared at all of the scary costumes.

Hanging out in dad's office.

 

Can't believe it is already over. On to Thanksgiving!

Last Week of October

I love October. I think it is my favorite month. Fall is definitely my favorite season, unfortunately, the state I live in does not understand it's role in the seasons. In Utah the weather is what I would consider "Fall-Like" for maybe two weeks. Three if we are lucky that year. Anyway, with colder weather comes sickness and we caught it. The girls are recovering from the Croup and spent the last week and a half acting, sounding and looking quite pathetic. It was heart wrenching in this house morning, noon and night...especially night, as Croup worsens at night.  Because her voice was so hoarse, Eden's cry didn't sound real at all and was difficult to hear if I was in another room. So when she was sleeping I was not because I was afraid I wouldn't hear her when she did wake up. Eden would whimper, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" as if there were something I could do for her but I felt so helpless. I just kept reminding myself how comforting my mother's touch was, and still is, to me when I do not feel good and hoped that she would feel some of that same comfort from my holding her. Thank heaven for medicine, because it starting working pretty quickly. Hope actually got sick first, and had a few scary moments, but wasn't quite as pathetic as Eden. I am sure her age is mostly to thank for that.

Here is a look at one of the low points this last week.

Daddy's touch is just as nice as mommy's. One night he even got her to sleep when I could not. My kids are quite lucky to have such a great daddy.

Surprisingly, there were moments that I found to make the trick-or-treat bags that I've been thinking about making the kids. I have to take a moment and do something I never do; brag on myself. I have spent such a long time being intimidated by sewing (damn you 7th grade TLC) that I am just now gathering the courage to give sewing projects a chance. This is my third project and I have to say that I am quite proud of myself for accomplishing this project with a final result that is better than what I was hoping for! I didn't have a pattern to work from, so I took some suggested measurements from people online and went to work. It was a lot of fun and made me feel pretty good about myself. Granted, it is a simple bag, but right now I need all the recognition I can give myself.

Eden's is the bag in the first pic. Being that I went a week and a half before Halloween, the fabric store had little to choose from in the way of Halloween prints. The fabric for her bag was my least favorite while I was in the store, but once I finished them all it is now my favorite. I got glow-in-the-dark fabric paint and embellished the print here and there on each bag and hers was the best fabric to do that.

I knew I wanted the bags to be "lined" too, so it took me a while to figure out how to place everything to sew it correctly, but it was pretty easy once I got it figured out. I used transparent ribbon for the handles, which is my only regret. When I started sewing the handles in, I realized that they probably wouldn't last long and might fray rather quickly. Hopefully by then I will be more skilled with sewing and can fix the bags with a different type of handle. We'll cross that bridge when it breaks. Noah's bag is the spider web pattern. I really liked this fabric and was disappointed with my glow-in-the-dark spiders that I drew, but I felt like it needed a safety mechanism, thus the spiders. Hope's bag is the pumpkins. I embellished the faces of a few pumpkins. The kids really liked their bags and thought it was awesome that they glow-in-the-dark. Eden really didn't give a darn, but hopefully she'll think it is pretty cool next year.

On Saturday we stopped by a local pumpkin patch and the kids picked out pumpkins. Hope just wanted to kick them and toss the little ones around. I don't know where that behavior came from, but luckily she didn't break any of them. At one point I found Eden hugging a green pumpkin but of course missed that moment with the camera. When I asked her to hug it again she hugged Noah instead. I got a picture of that which is cute too. Check out the bottom right picture. Click on the collage to make it bigger...MOM. :)

Noah took a break on a hay bale and Eden must have thought this looked like a good idea. She sat next to him and grinned really big like she was doing something cool. It must have been because Hope soon followed.

We saved carving the pumpkins for Sunday evening. I took no part, except documenting the event. Pumpkin insides are one of the most disgusting things....EVER. But it's one of those things that it is so disturbing that you can't help but keep looking at it. So I took a picture. :) Noah actually carved his own this year. I told him he could use a butter knife and he did surprisingly well considering how dull it was. Next year I will have to get one of those pumpkin carving kits so he can use better tools. Now that I think of it, I think I said the same thing last year. Oh well. One of these years it will happen.

Hope thought the insides of the pumpkins were gross too and would have nothing to do with cleaning them. She enjoyed watching dad and Noah though. She requested one with a silly face and a cute little nose and daddy obliged. 

While the big kids made messes with pumpkins, Eden made a mess with yogurt.

She likes to put it in her hair. At one point she was slathering it on her arms like it was lotion. Silly monkey.
She also found Noah's gameboy entertaining. Although she used it as a telephone instead of a game. Noah thought that was pretty funny.

Here are the finished jack-o-lantern's.

Mickey Mouse even made an appearance.

Noah is spending Halloween with his dad this year but in just a few hours the girls and I will go trick-or-treating at dad's office.
Hope woke up a little earlier than usual this morning. She came into my room with a proud smile on her face hands on her hips and said to me, "It's Halloween! Can we go trick-or-treating now?" She has continued to ask me if it is trick-or-treat time every 20 minutes since we woke up.
Stay tuned for a post about the much anticipated trick-or-treating!!!